Packing lists, forgetting to eat and table plan politics

IMG_2152So, one month to go! Reading back through some of my first blogs, I can’t believe I get married so soon.

So we have completed our table plan. It was more difficult than I thought, and we don’t even have complicated families!
I decided whilst doing it and said to Jon “single people are like chips, they are plate fillers on the wedding table plan.” So large families were seated first, to ensure they all sit together.
Do you sit people with friends or strangers? We chose to sit people with strangers, to make it fair to those guests who knew no one.
We have 2 gay couples coming to the wedding and, by complete chance, they ended up on the same table. I decided that won’t do as it will look like we are creating a gay table! To me it’s such a non-issue but then I over-worry about drawing attention to it and what other people will think!
Politics eh.
Do you then sit couples with children at a few tables or spread the children out? It’s very confusing! We decided to seat people mainly based on a) practically the size of each family and b) personalities that we considered would work well together. This involved both of us describing hobbies and interests of our friends, and matching them with a brief summary of the same about the other person’s friends, who we have not met. It’s like setting up a blind date!

We also confirmed our numbers of adults and children to the caterers… After 5 times of counting everyone I had 5 different totals. I decided that once I hit the same number 3 times, that was probably the accurate head count.
We then had to phone the caterers back the following week, as Jon suddenly realised and pointed out that we had forgotten to include ourselves for food! The lady said it happens ALL the time apparently.
Then, my mum was doing the wedding stationary and pointed out that we had also forgotten to sit ourselves together on the top table!
When planning a wedding one is so concerned to sort out everyone else, that I find myself putting ‘us’ last. Normally for a holiday I would have written a ‘to pack’ list weeks before and considered anything I need to buy way ahead of time. However it only occurred to me today that I will actually have to pack a suitcase for our honeymoon.

It’s very odd thinking I will never be single again…
(Thinking optimistically I know…!) I could be widowed or divorced, but not single.

My Maid of Honour has also found a new bridesmaid’s dress… I was quite concerned about the colour of the previous one as it didn’t match exactly. But I concluded that at this point in time it’s too late to change it! Having spent all that money on essential alterations to the top half (see previous blogs), I felt I had invested in it beyond the point of return. However, I’m very excited to see the new dress, which apparently matches our teal colour scheme better.

Next to do:
•create children’s entertainment packs
•make favours
•have shoes coloured red
•attend various beauty-related appointments I have now made in the week or two leading up to the wedding
•confirm all timings and contractor arrangements

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Pom Pom makers, the minimoon and children.

6 weeks to go!

In dawned on Jon and I the other day… What are we going to talk about after the wedding? What did we possibly talk about before we got engaged? I genuinely cannot remember, what could there possibly have been to discuss, why weren’t we just staring at the walls. Because now, ALL we talk about is the wedding. Not even our marriage, just the wedding itself. We have almost daily agendas of items to discuss- Jon is very happy when there isn’t an agenda that needs going through. I am convinced that by Christmas we will be sitting in silence, having run out of things to chat about.

I have finally bought some shoes. Although I may swap them. Buying the shoes was more complicated that the dress! Finding the exact height has been such a challenge, since my dress was altered. They are not ‘wedding shoes’, just shoes from the high street. I have a ‘wedding’ pair on order, in case I change my mind.

One of the next jobs on my list is to make children’s entertainment packs. I asked Jon for childrens’ ages, from his friends and family, it turns out he’s not so hot on ages, replying “they are less than 4ft it doesn’t matter”. Makes birthdays tricky I think!

The pom poms are coming along well. We borrowed the original pom pom maker from a friend, whom I had to text message the other day, saying “Funny wedding story- Jon broke the new replacement Pom Pom maker he bought you. He has made so many that the hinges broke!! We will buy a 3rd!x”

We have booked our minimoon… to Wales. Unfortunately I’m not a fan of Wales. Jon asserts that I’m racist, I’ve just had bad experiences of wet weather every time I have been. And I associate it with walking (hiking) and camping- 2 of my least favourite activities. Jon has not managed to get me to go to Wales in 5 years together so far. So, it is ironic (and Jon is particularly pleased) that we shall be going there on our minimoon! Albeit in a very lovely hotel.

We also attended our marriage preparation course, which was interesting. It gave us some tools, with which to solve arguments and highlighted areas that we need to talk about for the future. It didn’t change my life, but was worth doing. There was one other couple on the course who, when they marry this Summer, will have been together a total of 9 months. He decided one day he wanted to “look for a companion” and so he joined a Christian dating site and they met. They have yet to live together as they are buying a house, and only see each other on weekends as they live on opposite sides of the county. I wasn’t sure what to make of the whole thing… I’m still not.

We started with airing any concerns that we had about the course- Jon wrote down “evangelical preaching” and for the rest of the day the couple running the course completely avoided mentioning religion and at one point actually turned to us and apologised, when they used the word ‘church’ once! Sex was not mentioned, in fact I don’t remember it even being referred to as a concept, which was rather odd. It was like it just doesn’t exist.

Next to sort out before the big day: The table plan, stationary, evening iPod music and beauty appointments 🙂

Table plan, marriage prep course and Pom poms

So 50 days until we get married, which sounds more than ‘under 2 months’. A lot of RSVP’s are coming back in now, so the seating plan is yet to be written and we still need most of the venue stationary. Jon has a Pom Pom factory going on at home, I wanted them as wedding decorations in different sizes so most evenings he sits and makes them. He is aiming for 100! I’m not sure we need quite that many, but we do have to make extra in accounting for the ones the cat steals and hides. I think he’s a kleptomaniac- he takes our underwear, trots around with it in his mouth like a dog then and hides in under the bed.
So this weekend we have our ‘marriage preparation course’, so I’ll let you know how that goes. I figure it can’t hurt. We both had to complete a questionnaire of 180 things about our relationship, separately with no comparing notes. Everything from “have you talked about how many children you would like?” and “do you feel your families interfere in your relationship?” to “do you feel the sex is the only thing that keeps you together?” Some of the questions made me laugh, some were quite sad and some ( in my opinion) a little judgemental such as “I think things will change once we are married and are living together.” ‘Agree’, ‘disagree’ or ‘uncertain’. I needed a ‘sorry we already live in sin’ button, but they didn’t have one.
So a few weeks ago was my Hen Do. I had an amazing day, it was so lovely to have so many people I care about there. It suddenly hit home to me that I’m getting married. Until then it was just Jon and I making plans, suddenly it seemed public and other people were involved, and it became real! There were no plastic penises and I could still walk at the end of the evening having not got so drunk I couldn’t remember the day. Happy memories 🙂 I felt quite unsettled the next day, like I’ll never have a proper girly night out again once I’m married. I hope that isn’t what happens once I get married!
People keep asking me when we are going to have children, jeez already I haven’t even walked down the isle yet! It’s not a question I would ask people unless they brought it up, I find it odd that almost strangers think it acceptable to enquire based on the knowledge that I will soon be married. To be honest I haven’t had time to think about children anyway, I’ve been shopping for shoes. After 4+a half hours on London’s Oxford Street last Saturday, purely looking for wedding shoes with the exact (and seemingly non-existent) height heel, I eventually called my seamstress and concluded we need to have the skirt lowered so that I can buy a pair of shoes with a more commonly available heel height. The only ones I have found were £200! Lowering the skirt will cost £25, although she offered to charge £225 so that I could justify buying said beautiful silver sandals that I found in Russell and Bromley.
I still need to buy a veil as well, my advice is not to buy one from e bay. It was worth a go and actually that quality wasn’t terrible, but the colour doesn’t quite match my dress… Back to square one for veil shopping then…