The de-wedding process, Mr B and forgetting my new surname.


So what, now I’m married?
A friend suggested I continue to write my blog, into the first year off marriage. So that is my plan.

The day after our wedding we spent the whole day in the process called ‘de-wedding’- unpacking boxes, washing and re-pairing up all our vintage crockery, deciding what to do with 90 water glasses and the carafes, 30 vintage books, 10 candelabras and many large picture frames.

I took my wedding dress into the dry cleaners. This was the conversation I had with the member of staff.
Him- “That’s fine, so it will be ready in one week, is that okay?
Me- “that’s fine.”
“What name do I put it under?”
“H*****. No wait, that’s not my name I just got married.”
“Well this is your wedding dress so you probably did!”
“Okay sorry it’s ‘B****’.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, should I pay now? Because my purse is in the car with my partner.”
“You mean your husband?”
“Yes. That too… Oh dear.”
Since then on 2 other occasions I’ve also forgotten I am now married. Once when filling in a form in a shop I replied “Miss, no wait Mrs, I just got married and forget.” And the second time I hesitated for some time over my surname, and the gentleman said “Have you just got married?”!

Also the day after getting married, my Maid of Honour and I were ‘face-dumped’- someone deleted us both on Facebook. It was the person I previously referred to in an earlier blog, as her and her partner had decided they were not going to come to our wedding. Ah well, they had an invite and seemingly didn’t want to be part of our day or our lives… and also don’t want to be friends on Facebook… Message received loud and clear!

Well we are currently on holiday in Wales, sorry ‘minimoon’, in Wales. I mentioned in a previous blog the irony of this- that Jon couldn’t get me to Wales in the last 5 years. Well it rained on the way here, so much we could barely see the road and all I thought was I don’t want to die on the way to my honeymoon! The iphone Sat Nav struggled to pronounce the destinations, Jon’s explanation was “Well it’s an American accent trying to pronounce Welsh town names, you’re into no-man’s land.”
It took us 2 hours on the first evening, to work out the Wifi, and even then it was often like dial-up. Grrrrr, I can’t live without Internet, how will I check Facebook?
We had the elephant family upstairs with small children. As they ran across the floor, our bed headboard actually vibrated A LOT. I don’t do mornings do didn’t really appreciate this, as you can imagine. They scream too, they are those type of kids. Sitting on the bed pre-dinner relaxing, they continued to thunder around. I told Jon me killing one of the children was imminently close, right after I do a Mr Heckles on the ceiling (with the ironing board as there’s no broomstick in the hotel room.)
Jon and I aren’t the best suited couple on holidays- he likes sightseeing and walking. I would like to sleep, read and take long baths. I also like sightseeing and City breaks, but I’m so exhausted I just want to do nothing.

Wednesday morning I managed to slice my finger in the hotel room. Fortunately my new husband (from now on, known as Mr B) had packed plasters! At least I know he’s good in a crisis.
Wednesday night (after an amazing meal at the hotel restaurant) revolved around being back in the room at a reasonable hour, to watch The Great British Bake Off, on iplayer. I thought it was cosy and romantic, Mr B’s view was different:
Him: Isn’t it a bit sad?
Me: no, I think it’s cosy and coupley.
Him: it’s a sign of the times.
Me: what, that we’re married?
Him: no, that period right before stagnation and then death.


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